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Women’s Equality Day Urges Us to Look At All of Women’s Mediocre Accomplishments

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As a woman, I understand that I am only half of a person. As a gay woman, I am only 1/3 of a person. Therefore any successes I achieve are only somewhat admirable. 

Today, Women’s Equality Day, let’s reflect on some of the things we lowly women have done throughout history...

We’ve worn things better than other women.

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Women look best in black, hiding all of our flaws.

We’ve been married to male athletes who are married to Olympic medalists.

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A true champion, that Bears’ lineman.

We’ve gone to the coffee shop after divorcing our husbands.

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You go girl!

We still can look good in bikinis after age 5.

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Some of women’s best assets are our assets.

We’ve also done some even more amazing things, like…

We’ve kept the country running during war and even built the weaponry used in said wars.

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Here we are, doing the things only men are supposed to be able to do.

We dominate in athletics and break world records.

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She has more talent in one fiber of her biceps than many other men have in their entire bodies.

We invent things like the car heater, the medical syringe, Wi-Fi, and BEER.

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We direct some of Hollywood’s best films.

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Regardless of what the Oscars tell you, there ARE female directors and they are brilliant.

We rule nations.

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Oh, and some of us are Beyonce.

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Women slay. Don’t ever forget it.


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