Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve likely been bombarded with social media posts regarding presidential candidate and walking Cheetoh Donald Trump’s history of sexually predatory language and behavior.
And rightfully so. This needs to be talked about.
And this is NOT just about politics.
I’m seeing a lot of men posting comments on these stories saying they’re exaggerated, saying they’re completely false, saying every man acts this way. What’s even more startling is I’m seeing some women say these same things.
Whether you want to believe it or not, the epidemic is real. Women in particular face occurrences of sexual assault, verbal harassment, and rape far more often than you can imagine. And I can say this from personal experience.
I’ve had my ass groped by men as I’ve walked by them, I’ve been drugged at a bar, I’ve been told by men that they can “f*ck the gay out of me.”
For people saying “words are just words,” think again. These moments I’ve encountered have shaken me to my core, they’ve made me want to crawl into a black hole and never leave, and they’ve ripped me apart at the seams and torn away at the fabric that constructs my self-confidence. And I am actually a relatively secure person, so this says a lot.
Language influences thought, it influences action, it influences culture and behavior and ethics. It has the ability to destroy one’s faith, to diminish one’s character, to demolish one’s security and sense of safety. To say that words shouldn’t count as harassment is absurd.
By definition, harassment is “aggressive pressure or intimidation,” which is exactly what Trump’s quotes reveal. Whether he acted out the actions he described is irrelevant. He already took part in rape culture the moment he opened his mouth.
His words are the kind that evoke a sense of violence, the kind that allow some Trump supporters to say things like, “One man’s sexual harassment is another man’s flirtation.” The power of language, as you see, cannot be underestimated.
And, of course, the alt-right tries hard to bring up completely unrelated comparisons in this debate. People have attempted to say we women should be okay with Trump-like behavior because Fifty Shades of Grey was a huge success.
Except the FICTION NOVEL involves consensual BDSM. By nature, BDSM requires even more trust and respect and consent than anything else.
People have also attempted to say that we should be okay with Trump-like behavior because many women look up to Beyonce as a role model even though her lyrics are raunchy and promote sexuality.
Except lyrics regarding consensual sex are in complete contrast with unwarranted and unwelcome harassment.
These folks seem to have a hard time understanding that sexuality does not equal sexual harassment or assault.
To be proud of your body is not to tell men to touch it without consent. To flaunt your curves is not to tell men to slip something into your drink. To sing about enjoying sex is not to tell men to call you a whore.
To embrace one’s sexuality is to tell men, and women, to respect it.
As women, we are constantly told no matter what we do, it’s incorrect. We wear too much clothing or too little. We have too much sex or not enough. We are too loud or too quiet.
But we know better. We are perfect the way we are. And it’s damn time our stories are heard.