Are you looking for a foolproof strategy to not be taken seriously as a Trump supporter? Just follow these 10 steps and you’ll be well on your way to being mocked by sane and rational beings everywhere!
10. Use memes to try to validate arguments that have no substance and lack facts. You know how the old saying goes, “Behind every good man is a great meme.”
9. Wear this shirt.
8. And this one.
7. Oh, and definitely this one.
6. Make sure to misunderstand things like trade deals, right-to-work legislation, foreign policy, late-term abortions, compassion, and how laws work, and only cite very valid “news sites” like the Drudge Report and Breitbart News as your sources.
5. Broadcast very loudly how you are totally cool with men talking about touching women’s private parts without permission, inadvertently admitting that you supposedly are also totally cool if a man did that to your wife or daughter, or even to you. I mean, all respectable men do this.
Oh, also, make sure to bring up another candidate’s husband’s past affairs, the one who ISN’T running for office. Every woman should only ever be judged by her spouse’s behavior. I assume you also blame Melania for everything Trump has ever done.
4. Remember to claim that all the polls are rigged. Except the ones that say your candidate is winning. Those are solid.
3. Decorate your yard with Trump signs subtly, like so.
2. Use the terms “Killary,”“Benghazi,”“baby murderer,” and "liberal sheep" as often as you can in every Facebook comments section, even on the posts from your co-workers posting baby photos and the annoying reminders about your old high school friend’s Foghat cover band gigs. It’s important you get your message out there in every way possible.
And last, but not least...
1. Be a Trump supporter.
Spread this around to as many folks as possible! Just want to make sure no Trump supporter is left behind in this very rigged election.
*Disclaimer: I do not read the comments on my articles, so comment away about how I am a baby murderer and how ISIS is going to come kill me and my family first and how I am a liberal blowhard. I also anxiously await the rebuttal with The 10 Steps to Becoming a Hillary Supporter. (I mean, Killary supporter!)